為什么"留面子"在中國(guó)文化中如此重要？

TeaInternational-
It’s important because making people look stupid is seen as really bad manners.
Respecting someone – or something – means wanting to treat them as well as possible. Naturally, this includes taking care to avoid conflict where possible. In that light, it’s not a case of choosing between respect and conflict avoidance; the two are often intertwined. This is also why pointing out flaws or correcting mistakes is approached gently – through suggestion, implication, or questioning – rather than direct criticism. It’s not about pretending things are perfect, but about upholding respect at all costs while still finding room to improve.
But to add to that, there’s also a strong sense of personal responsibility – a duty to be aware of how you affect anyone and anything, anywhere and everywhere you are. A sign of good upbringing and strong family values is someone who takes care not to cause conflict. Making someone lose face is considered horrid manners – it’s unkind and seen as socially irresponsible.
When it comes to authority figures – like parents, grandparents or bosses – correcting them directly is often seen as taboo. These are the people who provide for you, who have invested their time and resources into your survival and well-being. From this moral standpoint, asking them to apologise can be seen as not just inappropriate, but ungrateful. Even if they make mistakes, the emphasis is on appreciating their sacrifices – not on pointing out their flaws.
Of course, not everybody strictly follows these principles all the time – but the understanding is ingrained in the society as a whole.

這很重要，因?yàn)樽屓顺龀蟊灰暈闃O其失禮的行為。
尊重某人或某物，意味著希望盡可能善待他們。自然，這包括在可能的情況下盡量避免沖突。由此可見，尊重與避免沖突并非二選一的關(guān)系，二者往往相互交織。這也正是為什么指出缺點(diǎn)或糾正錯(cuò)誤時(shí)，人們傾向于采用委婉的方式——通過建議、暗示或提問——而非直接批評(píng)。這并非假裝一切完美，而是不惜代價(jià)維護(hù)尊重的同時(shí)，仍為改進(jìn)留出空間。
但除此之外，這里還存在強(qiáng)烈的個(gè)人責(zé)任感——一種無論身處何時(shí)何地，都要意識(shí)到自己對(duì)任何人、任何事影響的責(zé)任。能夠謹(jǐn)慎避免引發(fā)沖突的人，往往被視為教養(yǎng)良好、重視家庭價(jià)值的典范。讓人丟臉被認(rèn)為是極其惡劣的行為——既刻薄又缺乏社會(huì)責(zé)任感。
面對(duì)權(quán)威人物——比如父母、祖父母或上司——直接糾正他們往往被視為禁忌。這些人為你提供生活所需，將時(shí)間和資源傾注于你的生存與福祉。從道德立場(chǎng)來看，要求他們道歉不僅顯得不合時(shí)宜，更會(huì)被視為忘恩負(fù)義。即便他們犯錯(cuò)，重點(diǎn)也應(yīng)放在感恩他們的付出上，而非揪住過失不放。
當(dāng)然，并非所有人都時(shí)刻嚴(yán)格遵守這些準(zhǔn)則——但這種觀念已深深植根于整個(gè)社會(huì)之中。

BotherBeginning2281 to TeaInternational-
But to add to that, there’s also a strong sense of personal responsibility – a duty to be aware of how you affect anyone and anything, anywhere and everywhere you are
Someone really should point that out to the vast majority of drivers...

“但除此之外，這里還存在強(qiáng)烈的個(gè)人責(zé)任感——一種無論身處何時(shí)何地，都要意識(shí)到自己對(duì)任何人、任何事影響的責(zé)任?！?br /> 真該有人向大多數(shù)司機(jī)指出這點(diǎn)...

TeaInternational- to BotherBeginning2281
You’re not wrong!   

你說得沒錯(cuò)！

Whanksta to TeaInternational-
this is the best answer

這是最佳答案

royxsong to TeaInternational-
I am a Chinese. My understanding is different. We’ve been told to be outstanding and to be number one since we’re born.In reality, there’s always a better kid from schools or neighbors. After school, there’s no such criteria to test your position. Opinions from others are important to make you feel you’re the best. Or you can treat others like they are less important than you to make you the best

我是中國(guó)人。我的理解有所不同。我們從小就被教導(dǎo)要出類拔萃、爭(zhēng)做第一。實(shí)際上，學(xué)校里或鄰居家總有更優(yōu)秀的孩子。畢業(yè)后，就沒了衡量自身位置的標(biāo)尺。他人的看法很重要，能讓你覺得自己是最棒的?；蛘吣憧梢园褎e人看得不如自己重要，這樣你就能成為最優(yōu)秀的

TeaInternational- to royxsong
Wow, it sounds like a lot of people truly wanted you to stand out and excel. That speaks volumes about how much they cared for you, and that kind of upbringing certainly has its own merits. From the way you express yourself, it’s clear you were taught to observe the world around you – and that suggests a sense of respect.
How do you personally feel about your upbringing, though? Would you have done anything differently? And what values would you want to pass on to your own children?

哇，聽起來很多人真心希望你能出類拔萃。這充分說明了他們對(duì)你的關(guān)愛，這種成長(zhǎng)方式確實(shí)有其獨(dú)特價(jià)值。從你的表達(dá)方式來看，顯然你被教導(dǎo)要觀察周圍的世界——這體現(xiàn)了一種尊重的態(tài)度。
不過你個(gè)人對(duì)自己的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷有什么感受？你會(huì)希望有什么不同嗎？你又會(huì)想把哪些價(jià)值觀傳承給自己的子女？

Healthy_Razzmatazz38 to TeaInternational-
is it though? plenty of Chinese people i have worked with are very blunt and direct and i dont mean that in a bad way
it always seemed more like a power structure thing, equals dont make each other look bad. I.E. from the Chinese perspective the us should not do something that embarasses china, but its perfectly acceptable for china to do something that embarasses australia.

真是這樣嗎？我共事過的許多中國(guó)人都非常直率坦誠(chéng)，這么說絕無貶義
這似乎更像權(quán)力結(jié)構(gòu)的問題——平級(jí)之間不會(huì)互相拆臺(tái)。比如從中國(guó)視角看，美國(guó)不該做讓中國(guó)難堪的事，但中國(guó)讓澳大利亞難堪就完全沒問題。

ParticularDiamond712
Honestly, this shouldn’t be controversial. Back then, European nobles dueled for honor, pride, or love—it was basically just hardcore face-saving

說實(shí)話這根本不該有爭(zhēng)議。當(dāng)年歐洲貴族為榮譽(yù)、驕傲或愛情決斗——本質(zhì)上就是極端的面子工程

Sad_Tomato_6337
A lot of the time I see it as a way of giving the person the respect enough to figure out their own mistake on their own terms.
Problems arise especially with elders and bosses who 9/10 don’t deserve their face being saved but get it anyway this can lead to toxic power imbalances.

很多時(shí)候我認(rèn)為這種方式是給予對(duì)方足夠的尊重，讓他們按照自己的方式認(rèn)識(shí)到錯(cuò)誤。
問題尤其出現(xiàn)在長(zhǎng)輩和上司身上——十之八九他們根本不配保全面子，卻總能如愿以償，這會(huì)導(dǎo)致惡性的權(quán)力失衡。

Nightowl11111 to Sad_Tomato_6337
And it is also human nature. Leading them to realize their own mistake is better than turning someone stubborn by calling him out. Humans get more stubborn with confrontation and that does not help problem solving.

這也是人性使然。引導(dǎo)他們自行覺悟，遠(yuǎn)比當(dāng)面揭穿讓固執(zhí)之人更頑固要好。人類面對(duì)對(duì)抗時(shí)會(huì)更加固執(zhí)，這無助于解決問題。

CariMariHari to Sad_Tomato_6337
And what if they never figure it out, growing complacent in an echo chamber of yes-men?

如果他們始終未能醒悟，在唯唯諾諾者的回音室里日漸自滿，又當(dāng)如何？

Sad_Tomato_6337 to CariMariHari
Just cover it up with narcissism, bigotry or denial the same like anyone who can’t admit their mistakes. It’s a huge advantage to be able to learn from one’s mistakes - growth mindset.
Vast majority of people who need a lot of face aren’t interested in learning from mistakes if it comes at the price of a loss of face.
In a face based society you don’t necessarily need intrinsic values to succeed so long as others perceive you as being successful is just as if not more useful in a group.
Can have both though but it’s a lot harder to cultivate as you need originality which as you can imagine is hard to come by if that is stamped out of you since birth.

用自戀、偏執(zhí)或否認(rèn)來掩蓋錯(cuò)誤，就像那些不愿承認(rèn)自己犯錯(cuò)的人一樣。能夠從錯(cuò)誤中學(xué)習(xí)是一種巨大的優(yōu)勢(shì)——這就是成長(zhǎng)型思維。
絕大多數(shù)極度愛面子的人，如果學(xué)習(xí)錯(cuò)誤需要以丟臉為代價(jià)，他們就不會(huì)有興趣從中吸取教訓(xùn)。
在注重面子的社會(huì)里，你并不一定需要內(nèi)在價(jià)值才能成功，只要?jiǎng)e人認(rèn)為你成功了，這在群體中即使不是更有用，也同樣有用。
當(dāng)然也可以兩者兼得，但這需要培養(yǎng)原創(chuàng)性，而如果從出生起這種特質(zhì)就被扼殺，可想而知這是非常困難的。

Melodic-Comb9076
it’s def a korean and japanese thing, too.
cannot speak for other asian countries.

這也絕對(duì)是韓國(guó)和日本特有的現(xiàn)象。
其他亞洲國(guó)家的情況我不便評(píng)論。

Acceptable-Trainer15 to Melodic-Comb9076
def a Vietnamese thing too.

越南也有這種現(xiàn)象

jettech737
This saving face thing is not appropriate in a safety sensitive position like jobs where people can get injured or killed. My airline in the US has a non punitive repeating system where we can report our own mistakes without fear of getting punishment.
The company then uses this data collected from reports to see if training or procedures needs to be improved or people simply need to be issued a bulletin to be more informed about a particular task that may be prone to mistakes. We've seen a reduction in accidents as a result of this non punitive safety culture where education, not fear reigns over us.

在涉及人身安全的高危崗位上，這種"保面子"的做法極不恰當(dāng)。我所在的美國(guó)航空公司實(shí)行非懲罰性報(bào)告制度，員工可以主動(dòng)上報(bào)失誤而無需擔(dān)心受罰。
公司會(huì)分析這些上報(bào)數(shù)據(jù)，判斷是否需要改進(jìn)培訓(xùn)流程、修訂操作規(guī)程，或是發(fā)布警示通告以提高員工對(duì)易錯(cuò)環(huán)節(jié)的認(rèn)知。在這種以教育而非恐懼為主導(dǎo)的安全文化下，我們的事故率已顯著下降。

bdknight2000
reminds me of a management advice I received: when praising your people, do it in public. when criticizing them, do it in private, 1:1 settings.

這讓我想起一條管理建議：表?yè)P(yáng)員工要公開，批評(píng)則需私下進(jìn)行，一對(duì)一溝通。

hansolo-ist
The US isn't good at losing face either.

美國(guó)人也同樣不擅長(zhǎng)丟面子。

PMG2021a to hansolo-ist
Sadly, the cover up lies from the US president's staff appear to provide feedback to support him in continuing down bad paths. 

可悲的是，美國(guó)總統(tǒng)幕僚的掩蓋謊言似乎提供了反饋，支持他在錯(cuò)誤的道路上繼續(xù)前行。

Quiet-Ad-8132 to hansolo-ist
I agree. Tbh in geopolitics you can't afford to. That's why China won't back down on the South China sea.

我同意。說實(shí)話在地緣政治中你不得不這樣。這就是為什么中國(guó)在南海問題上不會(huì)讓步。

One-Performance-1108 to hansolo-ist
Discussing China matters without mentioning the West : impossible challenge.

討論中國(guó)事務(wù)而不提及西方：不可能完成的任務(wù)。

Orceles
The Chinese believe they’re playing an MMO while the west think they’re playing a single player game. When people have awareness that the people around them matter, they are more respectful with how they interact with them. They will be more empathetic with the faces of others and that of themselves.
As opposed to the need for being blunt and telling others to suck it up for being butthurt. There are consequences to being inhuman in a human interaction.

中國(guó)人認(rèn)為自己玩的是網(wǎng)游，西方人卻以為在玩單機(jī)。當(dāng)人們意識(shí)到周圍人的重要性時(shí)，互動(dòng)時(shí)就會(huì)更懂得尊重。他們會(huì)對(duì)他人的面孔——也包括自己的面孔——產(chǎn)生更多共情。
而不是非得直白地讓別人忍著點(diǎn)別玻璃心。在人際交往中喪失人性是要付出代價(jià)的。

SoSoDave to Orceles
But if nobody is willing to point out anyone else's mistakes, then doesn't the whole system simply fall apart because nobody ever corrects anything?

但如果沒人愿意指出別人的錯(cuò)誤，整個(gè)體系不就因?yàn)闊o人糾錯(cuò)而崩潰了嗎？

Orceles to SoSoDave
Who said anything about not pointing out mistakes? The Chinese are the first to point out mistakes lol. The difference is in the subtlety for how you do it. Humans are more receptive to criticism when you consider their feelings. If effectiveness is what you’re looking for, the more reason to not be blunt. It’s called Tact.

誰(shuí)說不能指出錯(cuò)誤了？中國(guó)人可是最愛挑錯(cuò)的群體哈哈。區(qū)別在于表達(dá)方式的微妙之處。顧及對(duì)方感受時(shí)，人們更容易接受批評(píng)。若追求實(shí)效，就更不該直言不諱——這叫說話的藝術(shù)。

SoSoDave to Orceles
How are you allowing someone to save face if you point out that they made a mistake?

如果你指出別人犯了錯(cuò)，又該如何給對(duì)方留面子呢？

Orceles to SoSoDave
Here’s how to employ Tact. An example in the workplace:
Scenario: Your boss and you are brought into a meeting with the CEO and your boss is showing a presentation about Q4 earnings and future projections.
The CEO asks about the earnings number which your boss mentions a positive performance improvement, and quotes a 35% uptick. Now this number is not precise. The actual percentage when rounded up is actually closer to 34%.
In such a scenario if you “correct” your boss in this presentation, you may think you’re doing your company a favor. But what you’re actually doing is raise suspicion towards the accuracy of the entire presentation, the face of not just your boss (and therefore his trust in him), but the reliability and effectiveness of your entire department (given that the two of you were out of sync going into a high level meeting).
The correct thing to do here is denote the mistake to your boss after the meeting and regroup with him on
If it is worth updating the CEO after the meeting for the more precise number. (If that level of precision is needed for this level of meeting)
How to inform the CEO of the correction on a United front.
This level of tact is something you learn as you rise through the ranks of corporate culture, but is also something the Chinese practice in mindfulness for everyday life.

以下是運(yùn)用機(jī)智的示范。以職場(chǎng)場(chǎng)景為例：
情境：你和上司被召集參加與 CEO 的會(huì)議，上司正在展示關(guān)于第四季度收益及未來預(yù)測(cè)的匯報(bào)。
當(dāng) CEO 詢問收益數(shù)據(jù)時(shí)，你的上司提到業(yè)績(jī)有積極改善，并引用了 35%的增長(zhǎng)幅度。但這個(gè)數(shù)字并不精確——四舍五入后的實(shí)際增長(zhǎng)率更接近 34%。
這種情況下，如果你在匯報(bào)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)"糾正"上司，可能自以為是在維護(hù)公司利益。但實(shí)際上，你的行為會(huì)引發(fā)對(duì)整個(gè)匯報(bào)準(zhǔn)確性的質(zhì)疑，不僅損害上司的顏面（進(jìn)而影響對(duì)其的信任），還會(huì)動(dòng)搖整個(gè)部門的專業(yè)信譽(yù)（畢竟你們二人在高層會(huì)議中出現(xiàn)數(shù)據(jù)不一致）。
正確的做法是在會(huì)后向老板指出錯(cuò)誤，并與他重新商議
1.是否值得在會(huì)后向 CEO 更新更精確的數(shù)字（如果這個(gè)級(jí)別的會(huì)議需要如此精確的數(shù)據(jù)）
2.如何以一種統(tǒng)一戰(zhàn)線的方式告知 CEO 修正內(nèi)容
這種處事技巧是隨著在企業(yè)文化中晉升而逐漸掌握的，但也是中國(guó)人日常修習(xí)正念時(shí)就會(huì)實(shí)踐的智慧

SoSoDave to Orceles
O k, but what if your boss says that you are to plus thirty five when you're actually at minus fifteen and the accuracy of the entire report "should" be called into question?

好吧，但如果你的老板說你業(yè)績(jī)是正 35 分，而實(shí)際上你是負(fù) 15 分，整個(gè)報(bào)告的準(zhǔn)確性"應(yīng)該"受到質(zhì)疑嗎？

Orceles to SoSoDave
You whisper in his ear the correct number. Obviously depending on the gravity of the misspeak you can correct them. Once again, use Tact. Weigh empathy with urgency, as long as empathy is part of the equation.

你可以在他耳邊輕聲說出正確的數(shù)字。顯然，根據(jù)說錯(cuò)話的嚴(yán)重程度，你可以糾正他們。再次強(qiáng)調(diào)，要講究策略。權(quán)衡同理心與緊迫性，只要同理心仍是考慮因素之一。

SoSoDave to Orceles
So even when you know someone is blatantly lying, you are not supposed to call them out on it?

所以即使你知道有人在明目張膽地撒謊，你也不應(yīng)該揭穿他們嗎？

Orceles to SoSoDave
It’s about having empathy and being constructive vs being destructive.

關(guān)鍵在于懷有同理心，建設(shè)性而非破壞性地行事。

blazer4ever
Why is political correctness is western society so important, for the exact same reason

為什么西方社會(huì)如此重視政治正確，正是基于同樣的道理

Independent_Hope3352 to blazer4ever
There's a lot of pushback on political correctness. It's dying out.

現(xiàn)在對(duì)政治正確的反彈很強(qiáng)烈，這股風(fēng)潮正在消退。

Nightowl11111 to Independent_Hope3352
It's a trap. Pushing back on political correctness is the new political correctness! lol.
There will always be standards, the only difference is who sets these standards and where the line is drawn.

這是個(gè)陷阱。反對(duì)政治正確反而成了新的政治正確！笑死。
標(biāo)準(zhǔn)永遠(yuǎn)存在，唯一的區(qū)別在于由誰(shuí)來制定這些標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，以及界限劃在哪里。

etk999
Which country has the more rational people and efficient society that are up to your standards? Because I genuinely think a lot of what you are describing is universal to some extent.

哪個(gè)國(guó)家擁有符合你標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的理性人群和高效社會(huì)？因?yàn)槲艺嫘恼J(rèn)為你描述的很多現(xiàn)象在某種程度上具有普遍性。

Lost_Major9562 to etk999
The Netherlands? Germany? Switzerland?
I mean people in Northern Europe aren't afraid to tell you what they think...

荷蘭？德國(guó)？瑞士？
我的意思是北歐人可不怕告訴你他們的真實(shí)想法...

etk999 to Lost_Major9562
I have seen people saying Chinese people are too blunt and people saying Chinese people are too indirect, I think both are true. I have even seen many times people are on the internet saying Asian people just don’t care and they say whatever they want. All of these can be true , it just depends on the situation, but OP described it as if those are the reactions most Chinese people will give to in those scenarios, that is inaccurate.
There are also things that a Chinese person think they need to save face from , but people in other regions of China care much less about. There are more nuances to this topic.

我見過有人說中國(guó)人太直率，也有人說中國(guó)人太含蓄，我覺得這兩種說法都對(duì)。甚至多次看到網(wǎng)友說亞洲人根本不在乎，想說什么就說什么。這些情況都可能存在，關(guān)鍵要看具體情境。但原帖描述得好像大多數(shù)中國(guó)人在那些場(chǎng)景下都會(huì)如此反應(yīng)，這就不準(zhǔn)確了。
還有些中國(guó)人覺得需要留面子的事，在中國(guó)其他地區(qū)的人看來根本無所謂。這個(gè)話題其實(shí)有更多微妙之處。

Electronic-Run2030
Everyone cares about reputation, unless he doesn't want to be accepted by society. But in our culture, this often becomes a burden for individuals. Saving face does not prevent conflict; on the contrary, many conflicts are caused by it. Only by taking care of others' face can we avoid conflicts.

人人都重視聲譽(yù)，除非他甘愿被社會(huì)排斥。但在我們的文化中，這往往成為個(gè)人的負(fù)擔(dān)。留面子并不能避免沖突；恰恰相反，許多沖突正由此引發(fā)。唯有顧及他人的顏面，方能化解矛盾。

Optimal_Cause4583
I think it's important in every culture
Chinese are just more open about it 

我認(rèn)為這在每種文化中都至關(guān)重要
中國(guó)人只是對(duì)此更為明顯

neufski
I don’t know why this is even a question. Just look at the US government, does it ever acknowledge its mistakes or wrongdoings? Does it not embarrass you watching those blatant brown nosing and a s s kissing done by high ranking officials right in front of your eyes on TV? And the head of NATO even called Trump “daddy” in front of the world audience. I have yet to witness that level of flattering in any Chinese settings.

我不明白這有什么好問的?？纯疵绹?guó)政府，它可曾承認(rèn)過自己的錯(cuò)誤或惡行？那些高官在電視上公然溜須拍馬、阿諛奉承的場(chǎng)面，難道不讓你感到難堪嗎？北約領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人甚至當(dāng)著全世界的面稱特朗普為"爸爸"。我在中國(guó)可沒見過這種級(jí)別的諂媚。

BeanoMenace
Fragile egos.   

脆弱的自尊心

haokun32
Replace saving face with reputation and everything should be clear.
Contradicting your superiors in front of everyone is undermining them, generally speaking ofc.

將"留面子"替換為"維護(hù)聲譽(yù)"，一切就豁然開朗了。
當(dāng)眾反駁上級(jí)就是在削弱他們的權(quán)威，一般來說當(dāng)然是這樣。

Slodin
This only Chinese when you call it saving face.
It’s literally saving your reputation or PR for nowadays marketing term.
Sure you can find differences maybe, but ultimately they are the same thing.

只有中國(guó)人會(huì)把這稱為"留面子"。
用現(xiàn)代營(yíng)銷術(shù)語(yǔ)來說，這其實(shí)就是維護(hù)個(gè)人聲譽(yù)或公關(guān)形象。
你或許能找出些微差別，但歸根結(jié)底它們是一回事。

ReturnEarly7640
Harmony among human relations, it cultivates

人際關(guān)系的和諧，需要悉心培養(yǎng)

Washfish
Good for business and your future

對(duì)事業(yè)和未來大有裨益

BodyEnvironmental546
I would personally attribute it to the traditional hierarchy society, when ppl are expected to behave according to your social status. Don't point other ppl's wrong means, only the seniors can lecture younger, you shouldn't put yourself i to that position unless you are his boss or father.

我個(gè)人認(rèn)為這源于傳統(tǒng)等級(jí)社會(huì)的影響——人們被要求依照社會(huì)地位行事。不可指出他人錯(cuò)誤意味著只有長(zhǎng)輩能訓(xùn)誡晚輩，除非你是對(duì)方的上級(jí)或父親，否則不該僭越這種身份定位。